Although we have borrowed many words from Portuguese, including カルタ (carta), テンプラ (tempera), and タバコ (tabaco), the etymology of ありがとう (arigato or thank you) is NOT the Portuguese “obrigado,” as is often mistakenly believed.  The origin of the Japanese word arigato predates contact with Portugal by more than a century.  When arigato is written in 漢字 (kanji or Chinese characters) as 有難う, it means “hard to exist.”  It is an expression of gratitude linked to the Buddhist practice of finding the preciousness in each moment.

It is true that in day-to-day life, we don’t say ありがとう (thank you) very often.  On many occasions, we substitute it with すみません (sorry).  Why do we apologize when we want to express gratitude?  We do so because すみません is a very useful word.  It is interchangeable for  “thank you,” “お願いします (excuse me),” and “ごめんなさい (my apologies).”  We Japanese cannot express gratitude without 謝る (apologizing) for the trouble we may have caused the other party.

When I moved from Tokyo to San Francisco oh-so-many-years-ago, I was told not to say “sorry” too easily, especially when involved in a 接触事故 (fender-bender) or similar situations with strangers.  They will 弱みにつけ込む (take advantage of) you. You will have to pay for everything, so 気をつけて (watch out)!  Thankfully, I was never in such situations, so I never had to worry.

Nonetheless, I have started to use “thank you” more often.  When someone held the door for me or brought me something.  And when someone 何かを褒めてくれた (compliments me for something), which is the toughest one for me.  Why is it tough?  Because saying thank you is to accept the compliment, to agree that I’m special.  If I say “thank you” to compliments, people back in Japan will probably think I was living among 外人 (foreigners) for too long and forgot how to be Japanese!

Everyone likes to be recognized.  “Nice shoes.”  “Good job.”  “Captivating story.”  Instead of “Nah.”  “まだまだ改善の余地があります (There’s much more room for improvement).”  “It’s nothing.”  I’d rather say “Aren’t they?”  “I worked hard on it.”  “Yep, thanks!”  But when I’m visiting Japan, すみません comes out of my mouth surprisingly easily.  Afterall, I am still Japanese.  I am capable of switching my personality and speech patterns depending on what soil I’m standing on.  You think that’s splendid?  Why, thank you!