Keeping a positive atmosphere in the meeting — Cross-Cultural Meetings part 8

This article is part of a series on effective meetings between Japanese and non-Japanese.

One of the worst things that can happen in a meeting is for the atmosphere to turn sour. But misunderstandings and passionate stances can easily lead to someone becoming offended. And meetings can also be a venue for a variety of nonproductive, dysfunctional behaviors, such as cutting someone off, being argumentative, or making negative comments. If positive action is not taken in such cases, the meeting can quickly go downhill. 

The meeting leader is the most logical person to counter such problems, but anyone in the meeting can speak up and restore a positive vibe. Here are strategies for countering some of the most common types of mood-destroyers:

Negative comments. If someone makes a negative comment and nobody tries to prevent it from happening again, then participants will think that such comments are tolerated. So it’s important to counter by saying something right away, such as:

•  “Let’s try to keep our comments positive.” 
•  “Constructive comments only please.”
•  “It’s not productive to only make negative comments.”

Personal attacks. Just like negative comments, personal attacks should never be tolerated. If someone makes a personal attack on another participant, it’s important to make it clear that such behavior is not going to be tolerated. Sample phrases include: 

• “Personal criticisms are not appropriate.” 
•  “Let’s keep this businesslike please.” 
•  “We need to focus on the issue, not on people.”

Inability to compromise/stubbornness. When someone is being stubborn, they should be reminded that compromise is important. A meeting leader might say:

•  “We need to look for a way to compromise on this.” 
•  “This seems to be a very important issue for you, but if we don’t find a compromise we are going to have a deadlock. Can we find some point of flexibility here?”

Overly strong reactions. If someone is reacting strongly about something, they probably have a reason. It’s a good idea to try to get to the bottom of it. Questions like these can help to do that: 

• “You seem to care about this a lot. Please tell us why.” 
•  “You seem very concerned about this, could you please explain?” 
•  “This doesn’t seem to me like it should be such a major issue. Am I missing something?” 

These questions are respectful, in that they give the person the benefit of the doubt that his or her concern is valid. Also, if someone is being overly emotional without an apparent good reason, being asked this kind of question may help them realize how they are perceived by others.

Inability to drop a topic. Sometimes a participant will get stuck on a topic, and keep returning to it again and again, to the consternation of the others. If it’s not something that needs to be resolved during the meeting, it might be a good idea to schedule a separate session to deal with it. One could say, for example:

• “That is indeed an important topic, but we can’t deal with it adequately in the time allotted for this meeting. Let’s schedule another time when we can focus on just that issue.”

 Another strategy would be to “parking” the topic, or in other words, set it aside so that it will not be discussed further. A good way to do that is by saying, for example:

•  “I think that in the interests of time we need to park this topic for now.” 

For more on how to make your cross-cultural meetings effective, get a copy of our free bilingual ebook here.